A couple was pregnant and didn't understand why since "they were taking the birth control pill". It turns out it was the guy who was taking it.

I can’t begin to tell you how many dudes have argued with me that they’ve had hysterectomies. And I’m like you mean appendectomy? And they are absolutely adamant that they had a hysterectomy.

I offered a diabetic a tissue after doing a finger prick to mop the the 2 drops of blood on his finger. He looked at me like I was an absolute idiot, said "you don't know very much do you" and sucked the blood off his finger. Then spend the next 5min 'educating' me that because he was a diabetic, he needed all the blood he had. Therefore he needed to 'put it back into his body' rather then wasting it by putting it on a tissue. He was under the impression that if he just drank his blood it would go straight back into circulation.

I had a father of a baby absolutely beside himself because his newborn baby had no teeth

Working in an ER as a nurse practitioner. I had a patient’s granddaughter, who was pregnant, ask me if she dyed her hair would it also dye her baby’s hair. Made my day!

“Did you have anything this morning for your fasting blood draw?” “No, just tea with honey, and a glass of orange juice.”

I asked an elderly patient to show me how she gives her insulin. She said, I need an orange. I said why? She said well, I draw up my insulin in the syringe, inject it in the orange and eat it! That’s how the Dr showed me to do insulin!

Baby came out face down ... father freaked out his child was born without a face. We had a good laugh after.

"What do you mean, I can't eat an entire fruit cake? Isn't fruit supposed to be healty?" -Diabetic type 2 with a blood sugar level of 450 mg/dl.

My dad doesn't have a clue on anything that happens in the body. I told him I work in a tissue lab and he asked "oh are you developing new Kleenex?" When I told him that I work with body tissue this man really said "oh, I don't think I have that. I just use Kleenex"

I’m a dentist and the thing we get all the time that I hate is parents not caring about their child’s decay because ‘they’re just baby teeth’. Losing baby teeth early causes all sorts of problems aside from the pain and trauma but in addition to that I often have to explain to parents that the adult teeth that erupt at age 6 are meant to last forever. They’re always oblivious.

Pregnant girl who were on the pill, asked why she get pregnant, discovered that one day she takes it, the next day it's her boyfriend and so on ... That's not what we mean by "sharing cost" And another one, she pulls the whole box of pills (Yes all 28) in a bottle of water, and take a sip once a day.

I had breast reduction surgery. My husband went to the pre-op appt with me. The doctor was explaining the surgery and mentioned they would remove my nipples. My husband asked where they were going to get new ones from. 12 years later and we joke about wondering where the nipple locker is.

I had a colleague in her thirties with children who had come to the UK after marriage - she asked me one day if you could use tampons before you were married. She honestly had no clue about her own anatomy.

Not a medical professional, but I had a coworker who did not know she had a urethra. She thought that was something only men had. I had to break it to her that she did indeed have a urethra.

Pharmacist here. I had a patient call me and ask me why their medication wasn’t working anymore after they had stopped taking it.

Holistic doctors have convinced a lot of people that adding BLEACH to their drinking water will cure chronic diseases. Literally a high enough dosage to stain clothing being drank through a straw. BEST part is there's no convincing them otherwise.

They seem to think that, by pausing a ‘seizure’ to inform us that they’re having a seizure, they’ll get benzos. Lol no.

I'm not a doctor, but my sister works in a hospital. No, you don't need to go to the ER for a papercut. You won't bleed out

One time I had to explain to a parent that the “bump” on their child’s foot they were worried about was an ankle.

“How are you feeling today?” “Not great, I have a cough that starts from an emotion in my throat and chest. That emotion disturbs me.” ... a bacterial pneumonia ... roommate is a neighborhood “spiritual guru”

I've had male patients in my audiology clinic tell me they have fallopian tube issues. Perhaps I shouldn't assume they mean eustachian tube issues, but I do.

Pregnant patient during ultrasound: “my baby loves Doritos.” Me performing the ultrasound on said baby: “awww, baby is opening its mouth!” Pregnant patient: “omg! It’s Doritos! I just had Doritos! It’s EATING the Doritos!”

Had a mother ask if it was true that the soft spot of her baby’s head was “like a whale blow hole” that he could breathe out of. Apparently her own mother had told her that.

Sometimes in pregnancy women’s bellies can gain a little bit of hair, I assume from extra hormones etc. During a routine prenatal check a partner asked if it was the fetus’ hair poking through her skin.

I’m a phlebotomist. I’ve had so many patents tell me “blood is blue until it touches air.”

I’m in the mental health field but I met with a client who was worried that if their relative had a heart transplant would the relative still love and remember them. The logic being that the feeling of love lives in the heart.

I taught a college level health ed class, and the misconceptions were truly astonishing. Students wondered why household bleach could not be injected into a vein to cure HIV, and questioned why alcoholics were not immune since alcohol is an antiseptic.

I used to take retinal photos to look for diabetic retinopathy. When I would call to make appointments, more than once a patient said “Well I just saw the proctologist.” No sir, these are retinal photos, not rectal photos.

That the only reason to eat healthy is to manage weight. Also that alcohol is not harmful unless you are a full on alcoholic.

I’m an X-ray tech working in a mammography clinic, had a young woman come up to the desk and ask if she could ride home in the same car with her mom who just had amammogram and might still be “radioactive”

I once administered a certain type of breathing test to a 58 y/o female patient who worked at a manufacturing plant on 8 hour shifts. In self-reporting her smoking history, she told me she smoked up to 8 packs of cigarettes a day. I think her misconception was that she was going to live forever....

I asked a man if he had a latex allergy before bringing him back for his procedure. He said "yes", and followed it up with "gloves and stuff don't bother me, but every time I get a urine catheter placed I get a UTI